My Goal, My Dream, My Desire
When we were in College, my sisters and I went to the place where it was considered as the Summer Capital of the Philippines called Baguio City.
The place was cold that's why it was called the Summer Capital and we have to have jackets, sweaters and coats everyday. It was a very stunning and refreshing City and one that was a favorite spot for vacations.
The city itself is mountainous and full of hills but surrounded with lustrous greeneries everywhere. The breeze was so fresh and cool especially first thing in the morning.
There was a beautiful Cathedral in the middle of the city and it always had a mass service in the morning and in the afternoon everyday and it was opened all day for tourists and residents alike to come in and stay there to pray, attend the mass service or just to visit.
On the left side was a long stairways with about more than one hundred steps. Sometimes we would climb up those steps to go up to the church though we had to stop once in a while but we would rather pass through the front door of the church then after the mass we just had to go down the steps which was more comfortable and convenient for us.
We would go to church almost everyday before our classes and if we could not go in the morning we made sure we went in the afternoon. You would find a lot of students doing the same thing too.
After mass in the morning, we would go home first and then prepared for the school.
Besides those long steps was a dormitory for the Seminarians thus we would see them outside the building gathering around there mainly coming from the church as well and preparing for their classes.
These went on for days not knowing that they were watching my sister and I at that time. So one day, after church service, we passed down the long stairways and when we reached the very bottom, some of them as usual were gathering around having conversations.
One of them (real handsome with a very fine complexion) greeted us and introduced himself to us and smiled sheepishly. We had a very, very little exchange of words and then we left and headed on to our home.
At that time, I thought he was eyeing my sister but over so many days of seeing them after church, I realized that he wanted to befriend me more than my sister. But of course, my heart pumped so fast. He was so cute and handsome and had like a baby's complexion.
He was very gentle and courteous and so were his friends who were all seminarians also. They have a sense of honor and respect within them. They would always act in a very decent manner which we appreciated. We were just having an exchange of conversations like the normal teenagers would, just acquaintance until friendship developed.
At that time I was a bit big but I wasn't so concerned about it. When I would go to my class, we wore uniforms and because the place was really cold, I would always wear a pair of navy blue pants or navy blue skirt with knee highs navy blue socks and long sleeve white polo shirts with a tie and a sweater or a jacket or a coat.
In the first class that I had, there was this boy that was coming to the same class and he was big, meaning really big and in my country (Philippines) you really hardly see somebody who is big and fat. Though he was, he was very pleasant, always smiling and very friendly.
Every time he saw me in the class, he would just smiled and just looked at me but never really said much to me. After class he would just look again, smiled and left and that was about it. I was at that time thinking that he was shy to talk to me and wanted to befriend me but I would not say anything either. Furthermore, I was thinking that maybe I was a little big as well so it was like a great match for the two of us to be together... just thinking at that time.
One day, during class, our professor asked a question and I raised my hand to answer it and the professor concluded that I did. I stood up, answered the question and was pleased by it. As I was sitting back to my seat, I heard a big R-R-R-i-i-i-p-p-p and felt that the stitches on the right inner side of my pants just busted open. OMG! My goodness! I felt my face flushed and warming up. I sheepishly looked around to see if anybody noticed or heard anything. Thank God, none. Nobody.
It was a lucky day for me because I was wearing a long coat and literally covered my ripped pants and I was so embarrassed to rush to go outside thinking somebody had noticed it. Then I saw again my classmate looking at me and smiling. I thought for a moment if he had heard it because he was sitting on my front and not far from me.
But he didn't say anything at all, just looked, smiled at me and left the room and I dashed home to save my face from that incident. I mean, my own self from shame. I felt bad about it. I knew that I had to be really getting fatter for my pants to rip like that. Good gracious. How embarrassing!
At that time, my sister, a girlfriend and I were renting rooms from a couple who had a son with them who was the same age as us, maybe one year younger. In another room was another lady who was a Nutritionist who teached at the same University we were attending at.
As I was relating the incident to my sister, we were standing outside this lady's bedroom and I didn't know she was in her room at that time. All of a sudden she opened up her door and said to come in. Obviously she heard us. That was the very first time we had encountered her and she was so beautiful, tall and slim.
She was very pleasant to us, We were much younger as I was just 17 and my sister was 18 at that time. As a Nutritionist she gave us some tips and keys about of course nutrition and losing weight and maintaining your weight, the normal advise most people say... diet... exercise... drinking lots of water...
Well, all of them we really have to consider but there was one thing that she had shown us that up to this day I have never forgotten and I have followed it and kept it. After giving us her advice, she said, "Let me show something." Then she dropped her pants and showed us her thighs. She said, " You see my thighs?" We said, "Yes!" Then she put her knees together and said that for you to be able to know that you are in the right body measurement, body weight, fat content, (now this is so interesting that's why up to this day I remember it) your both thighs shouldn't be rubbing each other, not even touching each other. OMG!
Just to think that earlier that day my pants ripped and tore wide open and here she was telling me that my thighs shouldn't be touching each other????? Huh! I felt bad about that. Listen to this. When she showed us her thighs, there was a concave shape inside the parts of her thigh... it's kind of like this...( ) but very proportionate to each other.
So, I thought, "How would I achieve my thighs like hers?" They were quite nice to look at to be honest and mind you they were much, much better than mine. From that time on the appearance of those thighs stuck on me.
That was many years ago and I do not know now whatever happened to that lady but sure did impacted me a lot. We then had to move to a new home that my Dad rented so that all of us could be in one house with a housekeeper so she could cook and clean and so we could concentrate on our studies.
My Dad and my Mom were such caring, conscientious and charismatic parents. They would do everything for us,their children. At that time, we were about ten of us all going to school from primary school to University. Goodness, I just could not for the life of me imagined doing that today.
We were actually four of us all at the same time in the University, three in High School and three in primary and the rest were still very young and they were with my Dad and Mom at home.
Now, going back to those seminarians... well... we never really had a real friendship and real long conversation but they did ask what part of the country we were from. We told them the province where we were staying and nothing else. We did not say what part of the province nor what part of the town or barrio. We didn't give any complete address, no number, no name, no description of the place nor the house.
Remember, we were about six hours drive in the car from my house to the school where we were going at that time. Summer break came and we ( my siblings and I ) all went back home and leaving nobody in the rented house until next semester.
Of course, my Dad and my Mom were quite happy, everybody was home, the family was complete. I cold still pictured my Mom that every time we had to go back to Baguio, we were having tears galore... meaning everybody was crying and we could not leave our Mom as she was so sad and crying. Maybe you had experienced the same situation when you were going to college in another part of the country or in another country per se.
One day, I was in the dining room and everybody was doing their own task in the house (oh, yes we all did have them even my small siblings) the housekeeper approached me and said that there was a car outside and about four boys looking for me and my sister. At first I thought she was just teasing me and when she insisted to go look outside I saw a sporty, grand, red car and four boys looking around the house. Remember, we were all teenagers at that time.
OMG! OMG! OMG! I called my sister and told her and she too could not believe it. So, we went outside and as soon as they saw us, you could really see a sense of relief from them. They looked tired and haggard and I guess because it was a long travel from where they came from.
Well, we could not believe that they were there outside our gate and then to our house. They never knew where we stayed because we never told them but when we asked them how they found our house, they said they just kept asking and asking and asking until they found the house.
My Dad and my Mom were very well known in my country and when they mentioned our last name, people were just showing them exactly where to go, thus straight to our home. We let them in and called our parents and introduced them.
In my country it is a habitual culture to go to a woman's house when you are pursuing her sometimes even serenading the woman of your love which is a very touching and sweet gesture. Now, come' on, who wouldn't want to be serenaded, ha? Oh, it is so exciting and your emotions run high. I could guarantee you that. It is one of the most exhilarating experienced you would ever encounter in your life.
Anyway, they were in the living room all seated together with my sister and I and of course some of my siblings were passing by and being conscious of what was going on too. I think they were a little overwhelmed about the bigness of our family.
We gave them something to eat as we did know they were hungry and tired from a long drive. After having a great conversation, they started to say good-byes and thanked us for hosting them and being so hospitable and gracious to them.
Before they left, the boy who was pursuing me said something to me that blew my mind. You see, before they came to our house, during school time, he had offered me something that I didn't think that he was serious about it and so I just brushed it off. But this time, I knew he was all for it when he mentioned it to me again and I was actually speechless and he insisted about it. So I told him I have to think about it.
Excited was an understatement about what he said to me. So I figured out, we have two months semestral break and thus I could start my regime because I wanted to look really well and feel well about myself. I thought about really concentrating on my goal that I wanted to do ever since the incident about my pants ripping and this was a special goal for me that time.
Loosing weight is not hard, I know that. Maintaining your desired weight is the one that is challenging. You really have to focus on your goal and what you wanted to accomplish because i guarantee you that you would feel like stopping and forget about it. But then again, it's worth the prize you are after.
So I started with my food which consisted of black coffee and plain toast with nothing on it even butter. To make it taste better, I would just dip my toast in my coffee and that was how I managed to eat it faster too. Two slices of plain toast with black coffee in the morning would be sufficient for me.
At seventeen years old, I never knew anything about dieting or losing weight. My gosh, I'm just trying to go to school and make it through the day. But my cousins ( two sisters) were on this rampage of losing weight as well.
The older one is slim and really... she didn't need to lose weight anymore but I did not know how she could be so fanatic about it at that time. She would always asked me what I ate, what I did and really sometimes I was annoyed because as much as I wanted to lose weight I did not need anybody to be checking me out all the time about what I was doing or what I was eating.
On the other hand, the younger one who was much, much bigger than her older sister would say everyday that she would start her dieting and doing exercise but nothing ever happened. She promised herself everyday that she would start tomorrow and tomorrow never came into existence. She would even write a big note for herself that she would get up early and would do the exercise as soon as she got up and she would place this huge note in front of her bed which at that time was a bunk bed and as soon as she woke up in the morning, she would see it thus encouraged her to get up and just do it.
Well, that went on for a while and hardly done anything. She was young at that time but at least that was her goal and tried to help herself out to accomplish that. Well, fast forward... if you'd see her today... she's almost as tiny as me now and remained that size for a long time.
So let's get back to my own routine. Like I said, in the morning I'd have one cup of black coffee and two plain toasts with nothing on them. Remember, I was in school at that time so I really needed to eat properly. At lunch, I was very careful about what I ate as well as supper. I did eat rice at lunch and dinner and vegetables and very, very rare with meat. It was almost always fish as we do have so much varieties of fishes in the Philippines and you can make a fish dish in so many ways.
There is one thing that I would mention here that really helped me lose those extra pounds and made me slimmer in a very proportionate way. A lot of people kept asking me what I did and what was my secret. It was not a secret and if you can call it like that, my answer would be that it was because I was aiming for my goal.
You've got to have something that you are looking forward to be, to do or to have and experience it the way you have dreamed it and for me was to lose those pounds at certain date at that time so I can accomplish if for my own personal achievement and thus get what I want at that time.
Where I was living at that time at fourth floor and no elevator nor escalator... those years hardly anybody had them anyway. When you have so much on your hands, your personal bags, grocery bags, books and other material from school, you would not be able to walk up fast and not at a pace when you normally walked when your hands were empty. But, of course not.
So, going up was always a challenge and as you know going down was a slide whether your hands were empty or not. When you reached fourth floor, there was a little verandah enough to have you rested and your baggage and enough room to roam around as well.
But inside the apartment was big enough so it was divided into so many cubicles for the single bed at east to fit in and my Aunt would rent those spaces for other students. Being we were at the top floor, it was like a penthouse and had this huge outside patio and you can actually see the whole city and the view is so breath taking.
In the morning, I would get up a little early and would start my morning exercise regime and so did at night before going to bed. I would do it at the veranda instead of at the outside patio because it was so huge and open and I didn't want anybody to see me what I was doing. The veranda was closed in and very private and nobody can see you except when somebody was coming to the fourth floor.
So that was where I would do my exercise regime morning and night religiously. later on, I would noticed that my clothes were getting lose and that I felt really better and excited about the results of what I was doing. I was getting great progress and of course I was excited.
Even the boy that was pursuing me noticed it and even though he was not saying anything about it I could feel his satisfaction. I continued consistently... I persevered persistently...I just did what I had to do and never stopped along the way.
Oh, boy! It was a very refreshing and exciting journey for me. When I hit that weighing scale, lo and behold... I saw those numbers... they're like gold to me...like diamonds... I felt very, very good.
I DID IT! I got my goal .. my dream... what I wanted... I was sooooooooo excited and I was like in heaven. I made it and all I have to do is continue what I was doing to maintain it.
It was like magic ... but it's not at all. When you know exactly what you want in life and focus on it and no matter what stumbling block comes your way and all kinds of challenges and struggles and trials and tribulations... you can overcome all of them... you can pass them and with no concerns and no cares because you are focusing on one thing and one thing alone... that is your GOAL and your DREAM and your DESIRE ,,, no doubt you'll get it.
That boy didn't know what I was doing nor did he realize that I was doing something because of what he offered me at that time. I wanted it so bad. He kept pursuing me and treated me so gentle and so kind to me and because he also came from a very decent, kind and generous family, he actually had shown himself to be such a delight to be with.
Then the time came when he would hear my answer and boy, was he excited. He came to the house and so gentleman ... so kind ... so sweet. He looked so handsome and cute ... those sparkling eyes... baby like complexion ... and a little timid as well.
But something inside me changed. I didn't know what and I didn't know why. I really liked him and really wanting him to be my friend but after he had spoken to me and asked me my answer, I could not really tell him at that time. He was a little surprise by my reaction and that he didn't understand it either.
When he came to the house that time, he would hear my long awaited answer for his question about him and I going steady. He knew I liked him and I did know I liked him as well. But I just could not say that I did at that time and he was really disillusioned about it and so did I.
I even went to the struggles of losing weight so I could be good about myself about accepting him and be presentable for him ( those were my thoughts at that time) and that I would look decent enough when I accepted his offer to me.
It was a strange feeling and I just could not accepted him as my steady... maybe just a friend and not serious relationship even the dream of me accepting his offer lost my interest.. it was really strange. I just didn't have that strong feeling for him to have a serious relationship. I liked him... but not to go on a real long relationship and eventually I guess, getting married.
When he heard me saying "No, I'm sorry!" I felt the disappointment in him... his heart broken... his face flushed and his head bowed down. Do you know about feeling bad in a situation like this? Yes. That's it. I felt bad for him. I could see he wanted to cry but trying to hold it in.
It was a sad moment for both of us because we were both expecting a joyful outcome but it didn't turn out that way. I could not pretend I loved him. I thought I did. I liked him only as a friend but nothing more than that so I could not accept his offer to me. I felt sorry for both of us but I would not lie to him and to myself about a golden and special experience like this. It would be tragic for both of us. It would not be right for both of us.
Then he still asked me if I wanted the offer and I said politely no. I could not take it knowing he has nothing to expect from me and I could not take advantage of him nor use him for that though he was willing to give it to me and for just as being a friend.
Ahh! What a beautiful gentleman! I refused. I could not do that to him. It would not be fair to him and because his character said it all... mine said the same.
I knew it was my dream... I achieved one and that was for me to accomplish my desired weight and body composition but his offer... there are other ways to get that... I'll just keep on pursuing it.
The very best part was I had a very wonderful experience having him as my friend who was so kind, so gentle, so generous and so decently respectful. Those things, I treasured more.
We parted... and we didn't see each other anymore after that. I've always wondered whatever happened to him. Maybe he was married or pursued his priesthood. I do not know. I wished him the very best and may God bless him wherever he is right now.
In case you are wondering, below was the offer to me whether I accepted his proposition or not ...
One of them (real handsome with a very fine complexion) greeted us and introduced himself to us and smiled sheepishly. We had a very, very little exchange of words and then we left and headed on to our home.
At that time, I thought he was eyeing my sister but over so many days of seeing them after church, I realized that he wanted to befriend me more than my sister. But of course, my heart pumped so fast. He was so cute and handsome and had like a baby's complexion.
He was very gentle and courteous and so were his friends who were all seminarians also. They have a sense of honor and respect within them. They would always act in a very decent manner which we appreciated. We were just having an exchange of conversations like the normal teenagers would, just acquaintance until friendship developed.
At that time I was a bit big but I wasn't so concerned about it. When I would go to my class, we wore uniforms and because the place was really cold, I would always wear a pair of navy blue pants or navy blue skirt with knee highs navy blue socks and long sleeve white polo shirts with a tie and a sweater or a jacket or a coat.
In the first class that I had, there was this boy that was coming to the same class and he was big, meaning really big and in my country (Philippines) you really hardly see somebody who is big and fat. Though he was, he was very pleasant, always smiling and very friendly.
Every time he saw me in the class, he would just smiled and just looked at me but never really said much to me. After class he would just look again, smiled and left and that was about it. I was at that time thinking that he was shy to talk to me and wanted to befriend me but I would not say anything either. Furthermore, I was thinking that maybe I was a little big as well so it was like a great match for the two of us to be together... just thinking at that time.
One day, during class, our professor asked a question and I raised my hand to answer it and the professor concluded that I did. I stood up, answered the question and was pleased by it. As I was sitting back to my seat, I heard a big R-R-R-i-i-i-p-p-p and felt that the stitches on the right inner side of my pants just busted open. OMG! My goodness! I felt my face flushed and warming up. I sheepishly looked around to see if anybody noticed or heard anything. Thank God, none. Nobody.
It was a lucky day for me because I was wearing a long coat and literally covered my ripped pants and I was so embarrassed to rush to go outside thinking somebody had noticed it. Then I saw again my classmate looking at me and smiling. I thought for a moment if he had heard it because he was sitting on my front and not far from me.
But he didn't say anything at all, just looked, smiled at me and left the room and I dashed home to save my face from that incident. I mean, my own self from shame. I felt bad about it. I knew that I had to be really getting fatter for my pants to rip like that. Good gracious. How embarrassing!
At that time, my sister, a girlfriend and I were renting rooms from a couple who had a son with them who was the same age as us, maybe one year younger. In another room was another lady who was a Nutritionist who teached at the same University we were attending at.
As I was relating the incident to my sister, we were standing outside this lady's bedroom and I didn't know she was in her room at that time. All of a sudden she opened up her door and said to come in. Obviously she heard us. That was the very first time we had encountered her and she was so beautiful, tall and slim.
She was very pleasant to us, We were much younger as I was just 17 and my sister was 18 at that time. As a Nutritionist she gave us some tips and keys about of course nutrition and losing weight and maintaining your weight, the normal advise most people say... diet... exercise... drinking lots of water...
Well, all of them we really have to consider but there was one thing that she had shown us that up to this day I have never forgotten and I have followed it and kept it. After giving us her advice, she said, "Let me show something." Then she dropped her pants and showed us her thighs. She said, " You see my thighs?" We said, "Yes!" Then she put her knees together and said that for you to be able to know that you are in the right body measurement, body weight, fat content, (now this is so interesting that's why up to this day I remember it) your both thighs shouldn't be rubbing each other, not even touching each other. OMG!
Just to think that earlier that day my pants ripped and tore wide open and here she was telling me that my thighs shouldn't be touching each other????? Huh! I felt bad about that. Listen to this. When she showed us her thighs, there was a concave shape inside the parts of her thigh... it's kind of like this...( ) but very proportionate to each other.
So, I thought, "How would I achieve my thighs like hers?" They were quite nice to look at to be honest and mind you they were much, much better than mine. From that time on the appearance of those thighs stuck on me.
That was many years ago and I do not know now whatever happened to that lady but sure did impacted me a lot. We then had to move to a new home that my Dad rented so that all of us could be in one house with a housekeeper so she could cook and clean and so we could concentrate on our studies.
My Dad and my Mom were such caring, conscientious and charismatic parents. They would do everything for us,their children. At that time, we were about ten of us all going to school from primary school to University. Goodness, I just could not for the life of me imagined doing that today.
We were actually four of us all at the same time in the University, three in High School and three in primary and the rest were still very young and they were with my Dad and Mom at home.
Now, going back to those seminarians... well... we never really had a real friendship and real long conversation but they did ask what part of the country we were from. We told them the province where we were staying and nothing else. We did not say what part of the province nor what part of the town or barrio. We didn't give any complete address, no number, no name, no description of the place nor the house.
Remember, we were about six hours drive in the car from my house to the school where we were going at that time. Summer break came and we ( my siblings and I ) all went back home and leaving nobody in the rented house until next semester.
Of course, my Dad and my Mom were quite happy, everybody was home, the family was complete. I cold still pictured my Mom that every time we had to go back to Baguio, we were having tears galore... meaning everybody was crying and we could not leave our Mom as she was so sad and crying. Maybe you had experienced the same situation when you were going to college in another part of the country or in another country per se.
One day, I was in the dining room and everybody was doing their own task in the house (oh, yes we all did have them even my small siblings) the housekeeper approached me and said that there was a car outside and about four boys looking for me and my sister. At first I thought she was just teasing me and when she insisted to go look outside I saw a sporty, grand, red car and four boys looking around the house. Remember, we were all teenagers at that time.
OMG! OMG! OMG! I called my sister and told her and she too could not believe it. So, we went outside and as soon as they saw us, you could really see a sense of relief from them. They looked tired and haggard and I guess because it was a long travel from where they came from.
Well, we could not believe that they were there outside our gate and then to our house. They never knew where we stayed because we never told them but when we asked them how they found our house, they said they just kept asking and asking and asking until they found the house.
My Dad and my Mom were very well known in my country and when they mentioned our last name, people were just showing them exactly where to go, thus straight to our home. We let them in and called our parents and introduced them.
In my country it is a habitual culture to go to a woman's house when you are pursuing her sometimes even serenading the woman of your love which is a very touching and sweet gesture. Now, come' on, who wouldn't want to be serenaded, ha? Oh, it is so exciting and your emotions run high. I could guarantee you that. It is one of the most exhilarating experienced you would ever encounter in your life.
Anyway, they were in the living room all seated together with my sister and I and of course some of my siblings were passing by and being conscious of what was going on too. I think they were a little overwhelmed about the bigness of our family.
We gave them something to eat as we did know they were hungry and tired from a long drive. After having a great conversation, they started to say good-byes and thanked us for hosting them and being so hospitable and gracious to them.
Before they left, the boy who was pursuing me said something to me that blew my mind. You see, before they came to our house, during school time, he had offered me something that I didn't think that he was serious about it and so I just brushed it off. But this time, I knew he was all for it when he mentioned it to me again and I was actually speechless and he insisted about it. So I told him I have to think about it.
Excited was an understatement about what he said to me. So I figured out, we have two months semestral break and thus I could start my regime because I wanted to look really well and feel well about myself. I thought about really concentrating on my goal that I wanted to do ever since the incident about my pants ripping and this was a special goal for me that time.
Loosing weight is not hard, I know that. Maintaining your desired weight is the one that is challenging. You really have to focus on your goal and what you wanted to accomplish because i guarantee you that you would feel like stopping and forget about it. But then again, it's worth the prize you are after.
So I started with my food which consisted of black coffee and plain toast with nothing on it even butter. To make it taste better, I would just dip my toast in my coffee and that was how I managed to eat it faster too. Two slices of plain toast with black coffee in the morning would be sufficient for me.
At seventeen years old, I never knew anything about dieting or losing weight. My gosh, I'm just trying to go to school and make it through the day. But my cousins ( two sisters) were on this rampage of losing weight as well.
The older one is slim and really... she didn't need to lose weight anymore but I did not know how she could be so fanatic about it at that time. She would always asked me what I ate, what I did and really sometimes I was annoyed because as much as I wanted to lose weight I did not need anybody to be checking me out all the time about what I was doing or what I was eating.
On the other hand, the younger one who was much, much bigger than her older sister would say everyday that she would start her dieting and doing exercise but nothing ever happened. She promised herself everyday that she would start tomorrow and tomorrow never came into existence. She would even write a big note for herself that she would get up early and would do the exercise as soon as she got up and she would place this huge note in front of her bed which at that time was a bunk bed and as soon as she woke up in the morning, she would see it thus encouraged her to get up and just do it.
Well, that went on for a while and hardly done anything. She was young at that time but at least that was her goal and tried to help herself out to accomplish that. Well, fast forward... if you'd see her today... she's almost as tiny as me now and remained that size for a long time.
So let's get back to my own routine. Like I said, in the morning I'd have one cup of black coffee and two plain toasts with nothing on them. Remember, I was in school at that time so I really needed to eat properly. At lunch, I was very careful about what I ate as well as supper. I did eat rice at lunch and dinner and vegetables and very, very rare with meat. It was almost always fish as we do have so much varieties of fishes in the Philippines and you can make a fish dish in so many ways.
There is one thing that I would mention here that really helped me lose those extra pounds and made me slimmer in a very proportionate way. A lot of people kept asking me what I did and what was my secret. It was not a secret and if you can call it like that, my answer would be that it was because I was aiming for my goal.
You've got to have something that you are looking forward to be, to do or to have and experience it the way you have dreamed it and for me was to lose those pounds at certain date at that time so I can accomplish if for my own personal achievement and thus get what I want at that time.
Where I was living at that time at fourth floor and no elevator nor escalator... those years hardly anybody had them anyway. When you have so much on your hands, your personal bags, grocery bags, books and other material from school, you would not be able to walk up fast and not at a pace when you normally walked when your hands were empty. But, of course not.
So, going up was always a challenge and as you know going down was a slide whether your hands were empty or not. When you reached fourth floor, there was a little verandah enough to have you rested and your baggage and enough room to roam around as well.
But inside the apartment was big enough so it was divided into so many cubicles for the single bed at east to fit in and my Aunt would rent those spaces for other students. Being we were at the top floor, it was like a penthouse and had this huge outside patio and you can actually see the whole city and the view is so breath taking.
In the morning, I would get up a little early and would start my morning exercise regime and so did at night before going to bed. I would do it at the veranda instead of at the outside patio because it was so huge and open and I didn't want anybody to see me what I was doing. The veranda was closed in and very private and nobody can see you except when somebody was coming to the fourth floor.
So that was where I would do my exercise regime morning and night religiously. later on, I would noticed that my clothes were getting lose and that I felt really better and excited about the results of what I was doing. I was getting great progress and of course I was excited.
Even the boy that was pursuing me noticed it and even though he was not saying anything about it I could feel his satisfaction. I continued consistently... I persevered persistently...I just did what I had to do and never stopped along the way.
Oh, boy! It was a very refreshing and exciting journey for me. When I hit that weighing scale, lo and behold... I saw those numbers... they're like gold to me...like diamonds... I felt very, very good.
I DID IT! I got my goal .. my dream... what I wanted... I was sooooooooo excited and I was like in heaven. I made it and all I have to do is continue what I was doing to maintain it.
It was like magic ... but it's not at all. When you know exactly what you want in life and focus on it and no matter what stumbling block comes your way and all kinds of challenges and struggles and trials and tribulations... you can overcome all of them... you can pass them and with no concerns and no cares because you are focusing on one thing and one thing alone... that is your GOAL and your DREAM and your DESIRE ,,, no doubt you'll get it.
That boy didn't know what I was doing nor did he realize that I was doing something because of what he offered me at that time. I wanted it so bad. He kept pursuing me and treated me so gentle and so kind to me and because he also came from a very decent, kind and generous family, he actually had shown himself to be such a delight to be with.
Then the time came when he would hear my answer and boy, was he excited. He came to the house and so gentleman ... so kind ... so sweet. He looked so handsome and cute ... those sparkling eyes... baby like complexion ... and a little timid as well.
But something inside me changed. I didn't know what and I didn't know why. I really liked him and really wanting him to be my friend but after he had spoken to me and asked me my answer, I could not really tell him at that time. He was a little surprise by my reaction and that he didn't understand it either.
When he came to the house that time, he would hear my long awaited answer for his question about him and I going steady. He knew I liked him and I did know I liked him as well. But I just could not say that I did at that time and he was really disillusioned about it and so did I.
I even went to the struggles of losing weight so I could be good about myself about accepting him and be presentable for him ( those were my thoughts at that time) and that I would look decent enough when I accepted his offer to me.
It was a strange feeling and I just could not accepted him as my steady... maybe just a friend and not serious relationship even the dream of me accepting his offer lost my interest.. it was really strange. I just didn't have that strong feeling for him to have a serious relationship. I liked him... but not to go on a real long relationship and eventually I guess, getting married.
When he heard me saying "No, I'm sorry!" I felt the disappointment in him... his heart broken... his face flushed and his head bowed down. Do you know about feeling bad in a situation like this? Yes. That's it. I felt bad for him. I could see he wanted to cry but trying to hold it in.
It was a sad moment for both of us because we were both expecting a joyful outcome but it didn't turn out that way. I could not pretend I loved him. I thought I did. I liked him only as a friend but nothing more than that so I could not accept his offer to me. I felt sorry for both of us but I would not lie to him and to myself about a golden and special experience like this. It would be tragic for both of us. It would not be right for both of us.
Then he still asked me if I wanted the offer and I said politely no. I could not take it knowing he has nothing to expect from me and I could not take advantage of him nor use him for that though he was willing to give it to me and for just as being a friend.
Ahh! What a beautiful gentleman! I refused. I could not do that to him. It would not be fair to him and because his character said it all... mine said the same.
I knew it was my dream... I achieved one and that was for me to accomplish my desired weight and body composition but his offer... there are other ways to get that... I'll just keep on pursuing it.
The very best part was I had a very wonderful experience having him as my friend who was so kind, so gentle, so generous and so decently respectful. Those things, I treasured more.
We parted... and we didn't see each other anymore after that. I've always wondered whatever happened to him. Maybe he was married or pursued his priesthood. I do not know. I wished him the very best and may God bless him wherever he is right now.
In case you are wondering, below was the offer to me whether I accepted his proposition or not ...
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